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Personal scripts are a really interesting way to go into a conversation having

an example of the specific things that you want to say and

the actual words that you will use.

I think they're also a really great opportunity to have some responses at

the ready, for when you're put into one of these uncomfortable situations,

in which your gut reaction is probably not what you want to go with.

I know myself, if I go in with these really vague buckets of language,

I'll start to ramble and go in circles.

And so, it doesn't really help me get to the results I want.

Taking the time to literally write out exactly what I am going to say, for

me it's had great success in helping to have conversations that go in

the directions I want.

I'm their standard.

I walk away five minutes later and say now I know how I should have handled that.

So I give myself those five minutes.

Maybe run to the restroom, maybe dropping something.

Maybe.

Just saying, I can't think about this right now.

I've got a million things I want to give you, not my foggy mind right now.

Do you mind if we talk about it tomorrow?

>> Personal scripts can give you practice and get you ready for

situations that might occur unexpectedly.

I think we call them two minute challenges here and

elsewhere at the University of Illinois.

So, these two minute challenges pop up, not because you're sitting there waiting

for them, but because they suddenly appear.

A personal script gives you a way to address that situation pretty immediately,

by either buying time, asking appropriate questions, or

resolving the issue with a very firm no.

And sometimes no is a pretty good personal script to use too.

>> And so I think the other flip side of that is even when there's not a dilemma,

I had a manager who would always say Billy, where is this document?

And I thought to myself, that means that she wants it right away, all right?

She's saying where is it?

She really just meant what's the status?

So I would wind up saying, I'll have it to you like end of the day.

I'm really sorry it's taken me this long,

and I wind up staying up all night when this person I could have easily said,

why don't you have it by Friday, does that work for you?

And she would've said, absolutely.

And so I think on the other time it's the time crunch that you might sense is not

in fact always there in reality and so how can you really

understand the others person's side of things by asking questions.

And saying, here's my current status I can definitely re-prioritize and

focus on this entirely for the rest of the day if that's what you need.

But that's another way to literally buy your self time

on a deliverable rather than in the moment issue.

>> It is really helpful when you plan out these conversations.

And so being able to analyze the words you're going

to use in the conversation that include help me understand.

I want to be able to support you in this.

I know that the expectation is this, and that has been clearly defined.

Or even asking, is that a clear expectation?

Really helps you to understand the team members' view point in

the whole situation.

But I think it also allows the team member to kind of let their guard down, so

I'm not already placing blame or

giving it a resolution or an outcome to whatever the situation is.

I am simply gathering details.

>> So now you have the concept of what personal scripts are.

Personal scripts are really important for preventing mistakes that can be avoided,

and manage the ones that aren't avoided so that they're not career ending.

They can help you learn to sort out misunderstandings,

defuse conflict and mark you as a person who really cares about

your career and doing the right thing.

So let's think back to employee discount.

If your friends say that to you and especially if you know that your company

regards the benefit they provide you of a discount on product,

as particular to you, and not to be shared with your family or friends.

Very often, there will be guidelines about, could you use this for your spouse,

could you use this for your children, could you use this for your siblings,

could you use this for your parents, or not?

Almost always, it's pretty clear, you're not supposed to use it for your friends.

If you know that, and you know your company takes it seriously, and

you've seen that and a friend asks you to do it.

A good friend.

Maybe somebody you owe something to.

Maybe somebody who you really want to do a nice thing for.

You're going to need a personal script for

being able to set that boundary in a way that doesn't damage your relationship.

So one of the things you could say is, hey, if I get caught,

I could be fired and I really need this job.

I'd really like to help you, but I really need this job.

Or you could think about some other way you could help your friend.

You could offer something in alternative or you could just say, I'd really like to,

I just can't do that and change the subject.

At some point, you have to be able to set the boundary and say I can't put my job at

risk no matter how much I care about you and have some words for doing that.

Another way to think about personal scripts is,

something to having your toolkit or difficult situations or

problem situations, think about them as a set of personal policies.

I have a friend who runs a freelance business and

she's frequently asked to sign non compete businesses.

Now she's a soul proprietor and yet when she's asked to sign her non compete

agreements she always says, our policy is we don't sign non competes.

Now our policy there isn't anybody else it's just her,

she says our policy is we don't sign non competes.

And 95% of the time the response is, okay, we didn't realize that was your policy.

So it's just a set of your personal policies.

And if you have a set of personal policies and boundaries that you can talk about,

that you have words for, that you've planned out in advance of any specific

need, they will help you across your career.

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4.3.5: Scripts Show Who You Are

Foundations of Professional Identity

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