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Hi everyone.
In this segment, we're going to talk about expectations and
the difference between an expectation and something that I call the manual,
which are assumptions that we have that we often don't explain to others.
While they can feel very similar, they are not necessarily the same thing.
By the end of this video, you should be able to clearly articulate the differences
between expectations and the manual.
In this lesson, we're going to talk about expectations some more and
we're going to dive into the difference between an expectation and
something that I call, the manual.
They can feel very similar, but they're It's not necessarily the same thing.
So let's talk about expectations.
Expectations are first and foremost rules of engagement that you have for
people on your team as it relates to how they work with one another and
how they work with internal clients or colleagues and
how they work with external clients or colleagues or customers.
Another expression that we use oftentimes for
expectations are that they are nonnegotiable.
These are things on the team that we don't argue about, for example, being honest.
I don't argue with people about whether or not I expect them to be honest.
I just expect them to be honest, right?
You might have to argue, you know, why do you even need to say that to people, but
we can talk about that more in future discussions, but, what I want to make sure
is that a non-negotiable is something that we just agree and we move on.
We don't argue about it.
Expectations are agreed upon behaviors, norms and
practices that everyone on the team has held too.
So these things, these expectations that we have, are for everybody.
And that's how an expectation differs from a goal, right?
A goal could be something very specific to one person.
And expectation is something applies to everybody on the team.
Again, using the example of being honest,
we don't expect one group of people that we manage to be honest whereas we
expect other people on the team not to be honest, right?
Honesty is something that I expect of everybody on the team.
And the last thing is that expectations are value based.
So they tend to remain pretty consistent over time, regardless of where you manage
people, you're going to find that your expectations tend to be similar.
As long as they're aligned to what the organization is expecting,
they're not going to change much.
So those are, sort of, those key elements, the four elements of expectations.
They're rules of engagement, they're non-negotiable,
they're agreed upon behaviors, norms and practices that everyone on the team is
held to and they are value based so they tend to remain fairly constant over time.
What's key about what I said in all four of those
attributes is that they are agreed upon behaviors.
So theses are expectations are opening communicated and
shared with the team and honestly when we get into some of the future discussion,
they're not only shared, they are cultivated as a team.
In my experience, the best teams, the most highest performing teams will
work together to really establish expectations of one another and
then hold each other to those expectations.
It's so powerful when we do that as a group.
But you as a leader have to get clear about what yours are first okay?
So that's that key piece, that there are agreed upon behaviors.
Now I want to contrast expectations really quickly with something called the manual.
The manual is something that I learned from my colleague Brooke Castillo at
The Life Coach School years ago and I share it now as often as I can with people
who manage people because we all have this notion of the manual.
What does that mean?
The manual is a list of rules that we have for
other people that we don't communicate.
That's the key.
Manual is stuff that we think about other people that we don't tell them.
Here's some examples.
People shouldn't shake my hand until I have worked with them for six months.
I mean, that's a silly example.
People should make eye contact.
People shouldn't tap their pen in a meeting.
People shouldn't twirl their hair.
People shouldn't stand too close to me.
People shouldn't stand too far away from me.
People shouldn't swear.
People should swear.
[LAUGH] Right?
I mean people, anything that you sort of in your mind use to judge other people
that you don't then communicate to them, that's sort of an indication of a manual.
Now what happens with leaders is, we have all have this, okay?
Here's the thing, and we talked about point of view in our first course,
we all have perspectives about people that we've cultivated over the years
that we sort of use to judge other people, right?
That's normal, that's just being a normal human being, okay?
But the thing is, once you get into a leadership role you have to be really
careful, because our manual is not really relevant, and we can't use that.
We can't use our rules for
how people should be in the world, against our employees, okay?
What we need to do is set expectations that are relevant to the performance of
the organization.
That's what an expectation is, right?
These agreed upon behaviors, norms and practices that apply to everyone,
they have to be specific to the performance of the organization.
So it might bug me that you twirl your hair in a meeting, but
that is not an expectation, right?
That's just my rules and that might be just something I need to work out,
that's not a big deal.
So I always want to contrast the two because I think sometimes people get
confused about what the difference is between an expectation and
sort of their own personal preference.
And personal preference is not what we're talking about.
Expectations are really those behaviors that you know will govern
a solid high-performing powerful team, okay?
So in our next segment we're going to talk more specifically about expectations and
how to really set those and be clear about those so
that everyone understands what they look like.
Kris PlachyCEO and Founder & Instructor, Leadership Coach, LLC &
