Welcome. I want to begin by thanking you all for being willing to participate in this mediation. This is hard work and it takes a lot of courage. So I think I consider you very brave. Right? For being willing to come in this setting and have a conversation. So the first thing that I want to invite you to do is to introduce yourselves. My name is Ellen Ott Marshall. You may call me Ellen. In this process and so I invite you to introduce yourselves and also tell us what you prefer to be called. Would you like to begin? >> Sure, my name is Kerry Amador I prefer to be called Mrs Amador >> I'm Elizabeth Sanders and I think I also would be comfortable being called Mrs Sanders. >> Mrs Sanders, Mrs Amador, welcome. Well in this mediation processes we find it really helpful to set some ground rules right from the start. But the rules is not about the rules, it's about helping us preserve our process where you walk in really here one another. And there's somethings that help us do that. So one is on agreement not to interrupt each other. So I'll make sure that you each have sufficient time to share your perspective without interruptions. So that we take turns being on the part of listening and speaking and then speaking and listening, right? So, we want to take both of those roles. So, now interruption is the first, gradual are you all comfortable with that? >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Thank you. And the second one is that we practice respect toward one another, so I think again in this kind off process we want to treat each other with full respect to be civil. And part of that is displayed in the way we speak and listen to one another. But to treat each other with the respect is helpful second guideline. Can you agree to that one? >> Yes. >> Of course. I am always respectful. >> Okay, wonderful. So we've done some introductions which is the first step. And the second content part of a mediation is to do some story sharing or storytelling. And the point of this is for me to sort of catch up with you to see what's been happening and what brought you to this room at this time. So I'm going to ask each of you. To tell me your perspective of what's happening at the bus stop, right? What's unfolded. And since I asked you to give us your name first, then I'll begin with Mrs Sanders for the storytelling, okay? >> Okay. >> So Mrs Sanders can you tell us from your perspective what's unfolding at the bus stop on your corner. >> Sure. Sure. Well, really I think the issue is that the kids are being very noisy. Last week one of them was running around in a yard and she trample the flowers. This are my husband price roses and we were really distressed, when we come out we saw the damage that had been done to the garden and, >> And the parents, they don't seem to be paying any attention to what the children are doing. When I was young, when I was taking my children to school we always walked with them to school and we were very careful to make sure that the children were respectful of the neighbors and the neighborhood. And Kids these days, they're really not very respectful. My husband and I, we've been in the neighborhood a long time and we don't feel comfortable there the way we used to. And so we need the parents to keep their kids under control. >> Okay, yeah. Thank you, that's very helpful to hear. And it certainly sounds like you've seen a lot of change right in your front yard and then your neighborhood and that's certainly a lot of process, right? And then the sort of energy that's outside of your door early in the morning will be difficult to receive as well. Well, thank you for honestly sharing hat, I appreciate it. Mrs Amador, would you like to tell us from your perspective what unfolds on the bus stop. >> Well, children are going to be children, they are young I have two of them. The Bus Stop, they're about 20 kids there, I didn't set the Bus Stop when I came to this country, they said I took my children to the school the school said, you children that picked up at that Bus Stop. I didn't select that Bus Stop. I don't mean for my children to be disrespectful to you, where we come from we respect the elders but we don't feel very welcome. We don't feel that our children can play. The children are lovely. They're lovely. I wish you would come out in the morning and say good morning. We always try to say good morning to you but it's a barking dog. It doesn't feel safe for the children. The doctor is harmless. >> Okay, I'm sorry, just one second. So always remember our first ground rule about no interruptions. >> Yes. I'm sorry. >> And I appreciate the way that you are addressing Ms Sanders and I know part of it was your responding to her. Let me respond to about what you said and then I'm going to pose another question and I think it might help us get to some of those are deeper issues that you're all are naming. So thank you for that, I mean I realize that you've come into a new place and I appreciate as a parent myself, I appreciate the difficulty of wanting kids to behave, and also kids being kids. And the difficulty of being in a new place, and wanting to experience some hospitality from your new neighbors. So, well it strikes me that you guys are both In this very, vibrant would be a positive way to say it. It might not always feel that way to you, but a corner where there is a lot going on, right? A lot of people, a lot of new things, a dog, some flowers. This is still not happening in this very more space. I want to ask you two questions and I'll go ahead and tell you what they are now so you can be thinking about them. The first one is as you've listened to each other did you hear something a word that expressed some kind of need. Do you know what I'm asking? Something that way you thought some connection right with the other person. So that's one question to keep in mind. The second one is to think about what you hope for? What you would hope to see? Right in this corner. So could I ask you to begin with the first question? Did you hear anything from Mrs Sanders that sounded like a need- >> [LAUGH] >> That you would recognize? >> I had the need for peace and quiet. I enjoy peace and quiet when the children go to school. [LAUGH] >> [LAUGH] It's like a relief. [LAUGH] And then the second born was what would say? >> Hold on. l will come back to that. I need for peace and quiet. Did you hear something in Mrs Amador's story sharing that capture that you recognize doesn't need, you can relate too? >> Wanting to feel part of the community, wanting to have relationships. Yeah. >> Yeah, I heard that too. That's a good one. Good catch. Yeah. What do you want to continue with the second question? And if you think about your hopes, what would you hope to see in this new neighborhood where you live now, right? What would you hope to see there? >> Well, I miss the way things used to be when I used to feel very comfortable and I knew all my neighbors well. And now, sometimes, I see children there and I'm not even sure. I don't even recognize them, I don't know if they live in the neighborhood. So I think maybe I'd like to go back to feeling like this is my neighborhood to and I know the people who are here and I know the people that are around me, that's what I like. >> Why would you like to go back to that? >> I feel more secure, more at home, more like I belong >> In this space. >> Mm-hm. >> Thank you, appreciate that. What do you think about what you'd like to see, right? What does the neighborhood look like for you? What would you hope to see the neighborhood become? >> The two things I can think of are, >> It hurts to me hear you say you don't feel part of the neighborhood when you were there even before we came. And I would love to see you come out in the evening when the children are playing ball on the streets, in the cul de sac. And you get the know the children for yourself and know them by name. And I'd love for you to bring your dog and introduce the dog to the children so the dog sees and knows the children. I would like to say until the dog knows the children. I would love to see the children not being scared at the bus stop in the morning because the dog scares some of the children. My children like dogs but other people's children may not like dogs and I would like to see a good neighborhood where everybody looks out for each other and everybody is comfortable. >> I agree with you on that point. >> Thank you. >> Well it seems like a good place to move towards some kind of agreement and steps together that you might take. So I've heard from both of you some attention to well wanting to know people,right? You've expressed clearly you would like to know them and you want the Sanders to know your children. And then you are missing the days when you knew everybody and they knew you, right? So there is this common desire to be known and to know one another. And then it does seem like there's some concrete things to work on too. The dog, if there's a time for when the dog and the children aren't sharing space together, sort of sorting that out. And is she's about as the children being as quiet as possible. What's so important in these processes is that the agreement comes from you all and not from me. So, I've tried to share back with you some things I've heard you say. But I wonder if you might think together now about some steps, concrete steps that you can agree to, that would help you all move closer to that hope you have for the neighborhood. Will it be possible for you to build the fence in your house, so that your dog gets kept in the yard? >> I'm not sure that we can afford to build the fence right now, and I'm not sure we really want the fence. But I have heard you say that the dog right now is scaring the children. >> Yes. >> And the children are not there all day, it's just specific times that they're waiting for the bus, so as getting off the bus. >> Correct. >> And so during those times, we could keep the dog inside, and then in the middle of the day when the children are at school, then it's fine for the dog to go out in the yard. Will that help? >> I think that will be very good and >> The other thing is I'm so sorry about your flower. It wasn't my children that stepped on your flowers. I don't know which bad parent did that. They should look after their kids. But I'll try and keep an eye on the flowers and make sure. The children don't go too close to the yard. >> Okay, yeah. And we would prefer for the children to stay out of the yard altogether, but especially to keep off the flowers. >> Okay, so we have two pretty concrete things, right. Keeping the dog inside during the bus times and keeping the children, certainly off the flowers, and preferably out of the yard. Is there anything else you would like to put in place as part of this agreement? >> Well, l don't think we can agree to it but l would like to invite you over to my home so you know my children. >> I would like that. >> Thank you. >> I like that very much. >> Thank you. >> And maybe at some point, I could introduce the dog to the children. I'm sure when they got to know him, they would see that he is really the gentlest dog in the world. He would never hurt a soul. And then maybe they wouldn't feel so afraid of the dog. >> Okay, we'll work on that. That's great, that's a lovely third agreement. >> [LAUGH] >> Then sometime to get to know when another kids and dogs, great. Would you guys like to shake for this agreement? >> Sure, thank you. >> Thank you. >> Thank you very much for coming.
