So, given sort of everything we've discussed in terms of self presentation and self confidence, I'm wondering if we can sort of bounce some ideas about maybe someone who's going on a first date. And how to sort of go into it with self confidence and to have a good experience. >> Nice, okay, right off the bat, I guess we could say sure, appearance matters to an extent. So sure, we want to go in looking good. And we also want to portray that right body language, how we're sitting and how we're kind of talking to the person, I guess those are pretty important factors going in. >> Yeah, yeah I totally agree and I think also sort of keeping in mind what your goal for the date is. Are you going just to have a fun time? Or are you going and you're hoping to meet a person who you're going to be seeing for a while, or who you're going to be in a caring relationship with? And how to match your physical appearance, or your behavior, or your body language to those goals. >> That's so true, because based on what our goals are, it will totally inform the conversation, and the date, and everything that goes on there. So that's such a good point. I guess for me, I would really think a lot about using those positive self statements even before the date happens. So maybe if I tell myself the date's going to go well, or that I'm going to be witty and awesome, it might help to make that happen. >> Yeah, almost like going in with the internal glow of here's how this is going to go, and here's what I think is going to happen. >> I guess, what if the person's feeling really nervous, is there a good way to frame that? >> I think maybe just validating and recognizing that, that I'm feeling nervous about this date. I don't know what's going to happen for sure. I know that these are my strengths going in, and I know that I probably going to be nervous throughout the date. But I'm still willing to do it, and just sitting with that nervousness and not letting it get away with you. [LAUGH] >> Yeah. Okay, yeah, and even taking it a step further and being, taking it like I guess I'm feeling nervous so I must really care about this, this must mean something to me, and kind of using it that way too. Just like what you said, making it into something positive. >> Yeah, exactly, sort of just recognizing that it is an important date for you, and also recognizing that a lot of people feel nervous, and the person you're going to be seeing is probably feeling nervous, just as nervous, maybe even more nervous. >> From the discussions that the course tutors had, here are some of the key points to keep in mind for your initial contact with someone, or even for your first date. Your first impression is important, and can make or break your potential relationship with this person. Physical attractiveness does matter to a certain extent. Portraying a confident image through your body language and how you carry yourself, can affect your first impression as well. And maybe you could try some positive reframing, by encouraging yourself with positive self statements instead of focusing on the negativity.
