So, and all of a sudden, their identity [LAUGH] would be questioned.
But then, you can also imagine for some people,
that's exactly because they find a good way to define themselves that they feel
comfortable to transform the relationship.
So, yeah, like the motivation part is important.
It's the need that are met or not met in the transformed relationship.
And, in our opinion, the most important thing to look at, when you're transforming
a relationship is to try to make sure that your own needs are being met.
>> And especially like those emotional needs around feeling okay, right?
>> Mm-hm.
>> Would be an important aspect as well, so emotional gratification,
that kind of thing?
>> Yeah, I think from our experience,
working with people going through drastic transformation of relationships,
the key issue very often is not only about the relationship, it's usually about self.
Like people, are they feeling okay about themselves?
Are they questioning themselves?
Are they questioning their own worth as a human being?
Unfortunately, some people who go through difficult transformation,
who come to the position of believing that they are worthless, or
they have failed, or they're not worthwhile, attractive people.
And some people may be so upset and disturbed by this
experience that they may actually do things that are harmful to themselves.
Yeah, so I think it's really important that when we're looking at emotions and
needs, we will be focusing on the needs that pertains to one's sense
of self worth, like identity.
That's really important, yeah.