So now I have a topic that might be even more uncomfortable for some people. But again, I think it's important to talk about, is this concept of sexual deviation or variations in sexual expression that people have that might not be considered "normal" in our Western kind of context. >> Yeah, I know it's difficult to talk about. >> [LAUGH] >> Because what is good or acceptable normal sex, it actually does vary, I would say pretty dramatically across cultural context. Just the very simple example of anal sex, which is sort of a regular part of a gay sexual relationship is obviously problematic for some people. And then we can easily imagine a couple negotiating when one partner feels that it is natural, pleasurable thing to do and another partner take it as an absolutely no, no. So the key idea here is, obviously when you have two individuals negotiating what is sexual and what kind of sexual relationship that they should be engaged in. Obviously, our recommendation is that we always focus on consent, mutual respect, but then people can get stuck on an issue and from the SSLD perspective, our recommendation is don't get stuck on the issue, don't spend all of your time talking about like is this kind sex good or bad, is it natural or unnatural. I think it would be very helpful for the participating partners to try to understand what does it mean. What needs does it address. Why is your partner interested in exploring this, right. What does it mean to him, her, to yourself and to the relationship. I think that is probably, a better way to approach it than to spend endless hours debating whether a particular kind of sex is good, not good, normal, not normal. And obviously the personal boundaries have to be respected and consent has to be established. We are always very clear on this. But given that, all right. I think the general principle is that the two partners involved should give themselves a lot of space to imagine and try out. Different forms of sexual expression. I don't really think that we should just very definitely say that a is bad or b is out of bounds. I think people should be setting their own boundaries and limits, right. Obviously, we're making the assumption, that we're always talking about consenting adults, involved in this, >> right, and so it's kind of a negotiation process in terms of what is good within the context of the relationship. Or what works within the context of the relationship. >> Yeah, exactly. So we have this other very important dimension too, right, that is the cultural dimension. What is acceptable in one culture can be totally unacceptable in another culture. And certain forms of arrangement can be understood as almost subhuman, you know, some people believe that certain forms of practice is unimaginable or unthinkable. I just use a simple example of polygamy or even a practice that was actually was supported by Judeo Christian scriptures, the practice of fraternal succession, which means that if someone dies and leaves a widow, then one of his brothers would have to marry this widow. >> Right. >> And to have sex with her and procreate. That is something that why they accept it and endorse within the Judeo Christian scriptures anyway, right. But it does not widely practiced anymore at least not in the West. But that is something that is considered almost like a spiritual, religious obligation at some point in history in some places. But it is totally unthinkable in other cultures. So, I think we have to recognize that, right. There are huge cultural differences here and we may want to be more open to understand the context of how these rules come into being and how they also change over time and how they also vary from one social cultural context to another. >> Absolutely.
