6.9 Sex and Quality of Relationship

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来自 University of Toronto 的课程

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

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University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

129 个评分

This course provides an introduction to: 1. Basic concepts of The Strategies and Skills Learning and Development System (SSLD), their relevance for every day relationships and provide advanced concepts for participants who work in fields of social work and health care . 2. Basic practice principles and methods of SSLD, illustrated by relationship management case studies. 3. The SSLD framework for relationship management assessment; N3C (needs, circumstances, characteristics, capacity) and problem translation. 4. Core competencies in the relationship management application of the SSLD system: Observation learning, simulation, real life implementation, review and monitoring.

从本节课中

Module 6 - Relationships & Self

The final module covers various topics related to relationships, including love, sexuality, intimacy, and relationship problems.

6.4 Sexuality3:05

6.5 Needs Addressed by Sex3:36

6.6 Psychological Needs3:22

6.7 Social Needs5:23

6.8 Spirituality2:27

6.9 Sex and Quality of Relationship4:37

6.10 Diversity in Sexual Expression5:37

6.11 Erotic Justice6:18

与讲师见面

A. Ka Tat Tsang
Founder of the SSLD System; Professor and Factor-Inwentash Chair in Social Work in the Global Community
Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work

Thank you.

So I have another question.

Since this course has really been focusing a lot on relationships,

romantic relationships, I thought.

Within those relationships we, I feel like there's this idea that sex

is kind of this very necessary predictor of whether or not a relationship is good.

And I wonder if you can comment on that.

Is there any demerit to that?

>> Well, I think when we talk about sex within a relationship,

it is pretty obvious or self-evident to say that if you have

a better relationship, a high-quality relationship,

it's more likely that you'll be able to experience higher-quality sex.

But then I think it is only true to some extent.

Because it depends on how important sex is to either or both of the partners, right?

We can easily imagine there are people who go on in a very

satisfactory relationship in which sex doesn't really play an important role.

And then there are couples who can tell us that they have good relationship but

they don't really have a very active sex life.

So that's imaginable, and then I think it happens in real life.

The other thing is that

some people believe that if the quality of your sexual relationship is good,

it will also contribute to the overall quality of the relationship.

And I think that is also true, but again,

it depends on how important it is for some people.

So generally,

you would imagine conceptually that there should be a virtual cycle, almost,

that high-quality relationship contributes to better sex,

and better sex feeds into a higher-quality relationship.

But I don't think the two are just

going on like this in a simple, straightforward manner.

We will always go back to people's N3C,

the needs, circumstances, the characteristics, and the capacity.

And sex can be really central in one context, but

can be peripheral in another context.

The other difficult part of this formula is the question

that we haven't actually asked, right, [LAUGH] which is?

>> What is sex?

[LAUGH] >> Sex, yeah, exactly!

Yeah, so to some people,

sex is genital penetration.

>> Right.

>> Some people only regard that as sex, all right?

We have this famous Bill Clinton denial, [LAUGH] right?

That he had never had sex with Monica Lewinsky

because he was, deliberately, I would say,

narrowing the definition to penetrative genital sex.

But to a lot of people, right, sex can be just holding hands or

looking at each other intensely.

And it's a form of communication and mutuality.

And some people just get that there's something sexual going on. >> right.

Some people can have that happening even without touching each other.

So what is sexual, I would say, to a very large extent depends

on the reality that is co-constructed by the participants themselves.

And when a group of participants or a couple are saying that this is sexual,

I don't think we can go in and say that no, it is not, right?

So it actually varies across different social contexts.

So I think it is important to understand that by the end of the day,

it would be the participants themselves who one, define what is sexual.

Two, determine how important it is in their relationship.

Having said that, then I would say, well, generally, I would say better sex and

better relationship probably are correlated in some manner

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