[MUSIC] So now we are going to have our quiz. So one of the reasons that I have this picture as your quiz for today is exactly what we covered in this life, appreciating, noticing, significant and insignificant things in our lives that are unappreciated. So I can guarantee you that you never see me walking on this campus and only looking at trees and the skies. How many of us do that look constantly constantly. Once I was on my phone and this is how I noticed that there was a tree somewhere because I was on my phone and I hit the tree and I had a bump on my forehead for almost one month. Like a nice little bomb. And then he turned like purple and then yellow. I mean it was it was pretty bad right here. This is how mindful I was walking. So the reason that I had these streets that we have beautiful things, little things in our environment and in our nature that we just don't pay attention to. So are we done Jessica? Yes. Are you guys done? Okay. So I have the full picture of that tree, but this tree is pretty much representing what you see here. When we walk around campus. When we walk around in our city, when you're shopping, when we're interacting with people, are we mindful? And where is this tree? Where is this tree? Is right outside, you go down the stairs and the trees right outside and many of you probably got this quiz right? But the trees right there, look how beautiful these trees. You see the roots. I mean this is a very beautiful tree and we have many. You got this wrong? Okay, who got this? Okay, I'm not going to ask you got this wrong, but some students are like that there is no way that there is such a tree outside this building. Yes guys, when you walk outside, pay attention these trees right there. So if you miss the answer to the question, that means you have to pay a little bit more attention. So this is not, who is that you're going to be graded? This is our attendance squeeze. So now we are going to shift gears. Any questions about mindfulness? Any questions? Okay, so if there are no questions, they are going to talk about emotional intelligence. How many of you did the test? Because one of the slides in the PDF file that you got was this one? How emotionally intelligence are you? Okay, so nobody did the test, which is fine. So now we can make that the homework assignment. So your homework assignment is today after the lecture. I want you to do this quiz. I wish you had done this before the lecture because now you're going to be a little bit biased. But when you do the quiz then you do this test. Don't remember try not to remember what we discussed in the class because you're going to be a little bit vice. I just want you to do this test to know how emotionally intelligent you are. And now we're going to just define it. How many of you know what emotional intelligence is. I just want you to raise your hands. Let's raise your hands if you know what emotional intelligence is. Okay great. So let's define it. So you all know what I Q is right? You've been told that you are born video IQ. If you have a high IQ. And you study hard. You have a good GPA. Right. Academic success depends on IQ. So we know what IQ is. So IQ is logical reasoning. It reflects the higher the IQ is means that your logical reasoning is higher ability and technical intelligence, meaning that if you study for the topic and you do well on the exam probably you have a high IQ. Emotional intelligence or EQ. And recently we we we refer to it as EI has nothing to do with your IQ, nothing to do with IQ. You can say that if somebody has a high IQ they are going to have a higher emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is your ability to identify, assess and control your emotions, observe and assess and control. They may be control the emotions of others and of groups. So emotional intelligence is what we're going to focus on today. And I have a good news for you before I start talking about the emotional intelligence by 3:50 when you leave this classroom, you're going to be so happy. You will be smiling, you're going to be confident and you're going to say, who cares that I got that C, that class, who cares, this is how you're going to be. I guarantee that. And if you didn't feel that way, please come to my office hour on Monday because we need to review this again. So this is the good news about emotional intelligence. IQ is very overrated. So I want you to think about this question when you see successful people, when you see people who are successful in their professional life and their personal life, do you immediately think that they have a high IQ? Probably they did really well in school, they went to good schools, they had good GPAs and this is why they are very successful yes or no? I used to think that way, when I didn't know anything about emotional intelligence, I always thought that this guy or this lady is very successful because they probably have a very high IQ. So now we are going to see why that perception is wrong. IQ is very overrated. If you were going to only focus on material success, financial success. Based on Carnegie Institute of Technology, 85% of financial success is due to your ability to communicate, negotiate and need only 15% due to technical knowledge, which is the IQ only 15%. So now that I got your attention, we are going to talk about emotional intelligence. This is probably one of the very first books that was published on the topic of emotional intelligence. And in my mind this this book is still the standard, this is still like the gold standard or the standard of emotional intelligence. This book was published by Daniel Coleman, who by the way happened to be on our campus a few years ago presenting big talk, I believe at the student center. So some of us had the opportunity to meet with him in person since then. So this book was published probably two decades ago. And since then we have, he has published more about emotional intelligence at workplace emotional intelligence in college emotion. I mean, he's published a lot of books, but if you don't have time to read them, just read this one because this is the first one. And in his book then he defines emotional intelligence. He talks about five domains, five domains of emotional intelligence. Number one is self awareness. So what we are doing right now is we are trying to improve our emotional intelligence. And on the next slide we're going to see more tips. But one of the domain of emotional intelligence is self awareness. What does that mean? What does self awareness mean? Mindfulness. So this is why we started this class with mindfulness first. So if you're self aware, you are mindful of yourself. So I used the tragic example again. So when the tragedy happened on Sunday and I heard the news, if I have self awareness, I know exactly what my emotions are right? So the emotion that I was experiencing and I'm sure all of us were experiencing what sadness and I'm using that as an example. But this could be true for anything. You lose a family member, something bad happens to a loved one or to a friend. So you're very mindful of your own emotions. But self awareness also means that you're very aware of your strengths and weaknesses. You're very aware of that. And how can you help yourself to become even more aware is by asking people to help you. In my case, when I first started teaching life 101, which was six years ago, I had to students who helped me to put this class together, I didn't put this class together by myself. It was really a group of students who sat down with brainstorm ideas became over 10 topics and most of them are still presented. I told these students that your job, that the two who were really involved and I will show you a picture of them if he had time, but they are in one of in the Ted X talk that I gave about this class the UCI Ted X talk, I don't know 5 years ago. These two would come to lectures and then right after lecture there were in my office criticizing me for instance. I never forget this conversation that one of them said Dr Jennifer, you look so grumpy today. What was wrong with you? Look I was not grumpy and he said yeah you were very grumpy and I was arguing with him back and forth. I wasn't grumpy. What are you talking about? And then I paused, I said wait a minute. If I am trying to improve my emotional intelligence, I have to practice mindful listening, I have to listen to him. I can be judgmental and I have to say, okay this is a weakness, I was grumpy today. He's not lying, right, he's there to help me. How can I change that? So self awareness starts with recognizing your strengths and your weaknesses. So this is the first domain. That is probably so according to Daniel Coleman and many other emotional intelligence, gurus, this is probably the most important domain in emotional intelligence. Self regulation. What does that mean? What does self regulation means? Managing emotions and impulses. So did I say self regulate well, when that student told me that you were grumpy? That was not a good example of self regulation because I said no, I was not grumpy, but that was a mild reaction. Right? What could have been another reaction that I started screaming, I leave my office, I slammed the door and I just wanted, you don't know what you're talking about and I live and I'm sure many of us have been emotionally hijacked that way, right? When we get angry, when we can control it, this is what happens. So when I was working on this lecture last night, I was thinking about the presentation that we had in the first class by Giovanni, who remembers one of the techniques that he recommended for changing habits? Habit what? Interrupters. So you need to come up with your very unique interrupter when it comes to moments where you feel like you're being emotionally hijacked and it could be unique to every single one of you. I'm not going to stand here and say, okay, every time you guys are getting angry, every time you feel like you're being emotionally hijacked do this because that's not going to work. So every one of us has a little code. We have a little, stop her. We have a little something that can stop us. So self regulation is that. [MUSIC]
