[MUSIC] Let's talk about strengths, in particular the VIA Character, VIA classification strengths and virtues. Is there a particular strength that's been important to you in your life? >> Definitely. So I grew up with a stammer and I still stutter, and so my top two strengths are [stutters] creativity and [stutters] bravery. And I use [stutters] bravery all the time for instance when I'm interviewed about something. And I you know concerned if it's going to be a bad day where I'm going to get stuck a lot. And I used it all [stutters] growing up, but those two things really define the work that I do now. Because if your top strengths is coming up with big ideas or trying to come up with big ideas, and then having [stutters] bravery than my life is essentially a machine of coming up with big ideas and trying them out on people and finding out if they suck or not. >> [LAUGH] >> [LAUGH] That's what I do in my, with my friends and at work all the time. >> So can you tell us if, let's say that there was somebody who just took the VIA survey for the first time, and it came out that one of their strengths was bravery. And they want to use this more in their lives. What tips might you give them? How does one use bravery? >> Yeah, what I think is important to find out what you’re brave about. Bravery can mean a lot different things, depending on what your other strength are. And so for me, it was more in the realm of ideas. For a while my work did not allow me to that, and so one thing that I did is I begin a blog where I would come up with hair-brained ideas and put them out there. And it was a way for me to use those strengths even when they weren't part of my work. So I think the key, is when you find out that bravery is one of your strengths. To find a way to express it via Blog or if it's not in the realm of ideas, something else. >> So one of the things that, or one of the ways I should say that positive psychology is often misunderstood is it's thought to have only to do with beautiful things, you know, sunny days, sandy beaches, and so forth. And I think I hear you saying that in your life one of the reasons, one of the ways that you have developed your strength is by facing adversity. >> Definitely, yeah. >> So what do you think is the difference between, I mean a lot of people face adversity and it flattens them. >> Yeah. >> Why in your case did you, or what made the difference, or what is about you, the choices that you make, that you have made, that you continue to make, that puts you on the track to creativity and bravery as opposed to being flattened? >> I think it's hard for people to exhibit bravery if they can't use it, or can't find a way to use it and are always getting shut down for what their ideas are. And I'm really grateful that I've had a number of bosses that understood this about me and that nurtured that about me. And that allowed me to run with an idea. And the thing is that it's a numbers game. Like you can, if your thing is coming up with ideas and trying to put them out there, eight or nine out of ten of them are just going to be bad. [LAUGH] And so being okay with that, I think is a critical, critical thing. But at the end of the day, I think what's useful for people who have the strength is that, you can be accused sometimes of being prideful, because who are you to speak when other people might be more qualified than you, etc. But for me it was useful to realize that Plato, Marty Seligman. [LAUGH] All of these people, at the end of the day they are just people who are just putting out their ideas. And I study with Marty, and not all of his ideas are great too. So to have that modeled, as like, you can try out ideas and they can be bad, and that's fine. >> So Jare, we tend to identify bravery with the victor, right? So the person who comes out on top is the one who is obviously brave. But I think I hear you saying something different, I think I hear you saying that you can actually not come out on top in this particular context, and be the braver person. >> Yes. I have a loving relationship with failing. Failing for me is a sign that I've tried. The biggest fear that I have is to clam up and not try. There's been times in my life when my stutter was worse and I didn't share my ideas, because I was worried that I would look stupid, or the ideas would be bad, or I couldn't explain them well. And that was always way worse at the end of the day. It made me feel way worse at the end of the day than I tried to share something, to explain something, or to speak into someone's life. I think a big way that some people are brave is the willingness to be unconventional in how they encourage someone to really like take them aside and be like “you are very good at this.” I think good mentors are often brave, where they like step into that role and they're not ashamed to really try to speak to someone's life. So I think there's a number of ways to be brave and it often involves, and I've done that before, and it wasn't received that well by the person. [LAUGH] And you gotta roll with that, but so many times it is really spoken to people in really met them at a critical time and you just have to go for it. >> Chris Peterson used to say that our signature strengths often times get us into trouble. Have your strengths gotten you into trouble? >> Oh, yeah! I mean, I've already said like I've, [LAUGH] I've failed many times. I just had a dissertation committee meeting, and I was brave in how strongly I stated one of my opinions about a domain of psychological literature. It turns out I didn't really know what I was talking about. And I got called out for it. And that's fine, and then you're like, oh, I need to learn. I need to learn more and you keep going.
