I find myself at home with my husband Gabe, doing a lot of mind-reading. He should know exactly what I'm thinking, and I, of course, know exactly what he's thinking. And we spend a lot of time, I spend a lot of time, in my head. And it doesn't get us what we really need in our relationship. One example of this is I was telling Gabe I had this work opportunity. And I was going to be gone for a couple of weeks. And he responded to me, and he seemed so happy. And I spent a lot of time thinking about, what is he thinking that's making him so happy? And instead of talking to him about it, I was playing out a thousand different scenarios of what was going through his mind, making him so happy that I was going to be away. Didn't serve us well. >> I think it was really helpful for me to know of the common thinking traps as I navigated my grief, particularly around relationships, Karen. I found that really helpful. So for instance, I mean I think what happens when you are grieving is you need relationships as we know, the stand out finding of resilience research is that nobody goes it alone, and we really need our relationships. We need people to help us practically and emotionally. But of course, it's a particularly hard time for relationships. It's really hard for people to empathize when you have experienced a lost that they have nothing to compare to. And so that I ended up thinking that it is really important for the bereaved individual to understand those thinking traps. And to understand, for instance, that your friends and family members and colleagues aren't mind readers, so we have to tell them what we need. So for me it meant that I would say to them for instance, I'm feeling terrible today, I need a hug. I'm feeling terrible today, I don't want a hug. [LAUGH] But just keeping them informed all the time, please can you help me, maybe people could ask for some help with some baby sitting so you can get an hour away to get outside, and to take a walk, to have some time on your own. Well, maybe you don't need time on your own, and you've had too much time on your own. And so occasionally in those really first dark months, I do remember sometimes sending out a text to a group of friends who have got dogs. And we always walk our dogs on the beach in the morning. And sometimes I'd send them a text just to say, it might be quite good to bump into any of you this morning, please. Just when we felt really, our own grief was too small a space. So I think being explicit about how you feel, being brave enough to do that. because it feels pretty demanding. I think that's really helped me. It's really enabled me to avoid that thinking trap. So I would definitely recommend that people are just open about how they feel, and you can acknowledge that that's hard to do. Not just to try and keep your friends with you, and keep them up to date. And that way it's easier to maintain those all-important relationships.