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As this discussion continues, watch their nods,
facial expressions, and emotional tone of the group.
Pay attention to the body language expressing empathy and interest.
Watch how I keep the conversation going, allowing them to keep talking about
something that is evidently important to them.
This is the longest clip, but I kept the entire conversation to
illustrate the times when you should keep them talking until the topic is saturated.
Also notice how I used humor to help break the somber mood and
return topics onto a surface level.
As far as social interaction, has it helped or hindered, in general?
>> Both.
>> Both.
>> Do you mean emojis or social- >> In general, the cell phone.
>> Both.
>> Yeah.
>> Go ahead, tell me, Danish.
>> I feel like we're more interconnected.
I can message my friend on Facebook all the way in other parts of the world.
And we're more connected that way and we stay in touch through Facebook.
That's the only reason why I still use Facebook.
But at the same time, I dunno maybe domestically,
when we're always messaging each other it's actually hard for us.
I dunno about you guys, but
in my generation it's actually hard to maintain a proper conversation.
Or make an initiative to meet the people.
Whereas versus last time you had land lines, so you had to call your friends,
hey you want to go out and, all that stuff.
>> So it's a lot easier for you.
>> It's a lot easier, but at the same time we're making it,
we're more distant, I don't know how to say it.
I'm sure everyone that owns a phone can kind of relate somehow.
>> Yeah. >> So you can stay in touch via Facebook,
but you don't have to get together?
>> Yeah, you have this portrayal of your social media life versus your real life.
So people always see you.
You're always doing these nice things, but you always post nice things not depressing
things >> You just post the highlights.
>> Yeah you just post highlights, and so people thought your life is so wow.
2:30
I can't call him.
>> Everything, he's so happy.
>> He's so cool.
He's so happy.
But at the same time, you're that person who's posting that might feel like
nobody's reaching out to me.
I'm so lonely.
>> So you can have a different persona.
Interesting, others feel that way?
How many feel that way?
Everybody.
Wow, that's really, super interesting.
>> That's a whole nother study by itself.
>> It's very, very interesting.
So when you know the person pretty well and
can you tell at all that maybe there's something up?
That you would maybe private message them instead or something?
How would you get around it?
When you kind of of think that the persona is too good, or
it makes you not want to approach them is that what you're saying?
>> Yeah, in a way.
I get a few people, they just don't reach out to me anymore,
just because they think I have so many new friends in Davis, or whatever.
But it's just, I don't know, I don't really post boring stuff,
nobody wants to see me studying.
>> Yeah.
>> Of course, I post stuff, I'm going hiking, or something like that.
And they're just like, wow, you're always doing something.
>> Just because that's what you're doing.
You're posting, but it's not necessarily what you're always doing.
>> Unless I'm live streaming, I'm doing this, I'm doing this.
I don't see a point of posting sad or boring stuff like everyone else does.
>> Yeah. >> So people refrain from contacting you
or something.
>> Interesting.
>> I don't know, in a way intimidated to reach out to you,
so you have to do the reaching out.
>> Others, Lynn?
>> I think, since we're constantly being bombarded with not just socialization,
but information too.
I think it's really easy to become desensitized to
everything that you see on your phone.
You might see your friends posting things, but
you're less likely to make that contact because you see it so frequently.
And people are posting so
frequent, that you kind of just think maybe it's not as important.
>> Interesting.
You become immune, in a way.
>> Yeah, it makes it easier to socialize in the sense of you can have quick,
but kind of less meaningful interactions.
But as far as, it's not the same as calling somebody else on the phone.
Or if I was having a face to face conversation with someone,
I just think it would be a lot more in depth, rather than if
I'm just texting someone, it's really easy to not reply.
Everything's really abbreviated sort of, so
you don't get the full emotional connection sort of.
It's just kind of quick.
>> You can't really read into the full emotion of it.
That's interesting.
>> Going back to what Marly said, one of the most important things of cell
phone is the messaging, which is funny because telephones were used to call.
But nowadays if someone just texts you or something and when they call you and
they're like, what is it, and it's like, nothing.
I just wanted to call you.
And you're like, you could have told me that over a text.
It's weird to give people calls now, whereas back then you could talk for
hours.
And now it's just everything by text.
>> Others on that, messaging versus talking on the phone.
>> Well, I think that's why we're so disconnected, just people don't
really talk anymore, you answer the phone well why didn't you just text me?
So you have all these friends on social media, but
in real life you don't have friends, you don't have real friends anymore.
>> Wow, this is depressing.
[LAUGH] >> That's right yeah.
Well now Sarah sorry?
>> At least for me because all my friends are back in the East Coast because I'm
not from California.
I kind of just, I like the snippets because we can't staying in contact is so
hard because of the time difference.
And it's just like they're always doing things and I'm always doing things.
But if I can go on Snapchat.
I can kind of just scroll through and tap through their day basically and
see what they're doing.
>> And you're in a different time zone, right?
>> Yeah, and so I feel like I'm kind of connected.
And so I do kind of get a little apathetic and I don't really need to text them.
I saw what you did today.
It's fine.
>> Yeah.
>> So that's kind of bad.
I probably should message my friends more often and
not just go through their Snapchat or look at their Instagram.
I just stalk them on Facebook every now again.
So it makes it a little easier.
But sometimes it's a little too easy.
>> It's convenient.
Especially, I'm also not from here.
I'm from Asia.
Even more of a time difference.
Any time difference is hard, obviously.
But just having someone messaging and social media makes it easier.
Then you know that, well on the surface what they posted they're not dying or
something, they're not in the hospital or dead or whatever.
>> Gosh.
>> [LAUGH] So at least it gives you snippets because it's really
hard to call somebody who is, when you are awake they're sleeping,
you don't want to call and wake them up.
It's kind of just practicality reasons,
but I think the best thing about the technology we have now is that
we can connect to people who are far away from us.
And then it becomes a problem when even people who are close to us,
[LAUGH] yesterday I was outside my room, and my roommate texted me.
And I was like, I'm literally right outside.
[LAUGH] >> Maybe we should talk in person.
>> I went in and I was like, dude what?
And she was like, lol.
She's like I thought you left.
And I was like dude I was wearing house clothes.
And she was like I just didn't want to get up.
And I was like all right, cool.
[LAUGH] >> Do you have any positive or
negative about it?
>> I was thinking back to my best friend back home.
I prefer old school or writing letters and stuff like that,
and my best friend doesn't even know where to buy the stamps.
So I told her let's write a letter, like friend pal, whatever, what you call it.
He told me I would rather just message you.
because he's six hours away from me and I'm just like,
how do you not know how to write a letter?
because I the idea of taking time and
putting all the emotions in instead of >> And your writing and everything.
>> Yep.
>> I was just talking to an 85 year old woman as I was working out today and
she was, I was thinking about cell phones.
Wait a minuet, are you reading my mind, I'm conducting a focus group.
She said, I just, the kids nowadays, they're just off on their cell phones,
and why don't they communicate in person?
I'm going to bring that up in the focus group.
That's interesting.
Because you're saying you want that special touch, and
that's what she was saying.
Others? Anyone?
>> Yes I was going to talk about speaking in person when
you're hanging out with someone.
Sometimes while you're waiting or doing something,
you always feel the need to do something so
that in order to not have to think about what's around you.
You're on your cell phone.
You're going through social media like, okay.
Okay, my favorite blogger is here in Davis and
she's been taking photos with a bunch of her fans or something like that.
And then you're not even speaking to the person that's near you-
>> Right next to you.
>> Or anything.
Or even when I go on dates and stuff I always put my cell phone
away because I want to be able to talk to them and connect with them as a person.
Rather than just, all right I'm just going to be on my phone the entire time,
free dinner, no biggie.
[LAUGH] >> [LAUGH]
>> Yeah, it's so
hard to turn off sometimes, I got the message.